A little blog for a restless mind

Bullshit

I'm tired.
I'm tired of rain.
I'm tired of talking.
I'm tired of typing.
I'm tired of buses.
I'm tired of thinking.
I'm tired of feeling.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of summer.
I'm tired of winter.
I'm tired of being happy.
I'm tired of being sad.
I'm tired.
I'm always tired.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of predicting.
I'm tired of history.
I'm tired of seeing.
I'm tired of being blind.
I'm tired of being right.
I'm tired of being wrong.
I'm tired.
I'm just tired.
I'm perpetually tired.

I can read almost all people almost all the time. What I can't read is what I don't want to see. Who I can't read is me.
Why does this world seem so alien? It felt alien since I can remember. I can understand it all. Just I can't fit into it.
I can do wonders. But what would I do with wonders? Collect them in a bag and lock them away?
Miracles are within my reach. But I don't know what to do with them. Nobody needs them.
Maybe a metaphor. I've built a house. Yet I can't decide whether I want to live in it. I think it would be boring. Since I know it all. Well, I should, I've built it. But there's nothing repulsive about it. Okay, I let it be, perhaps even demolish it, just for fun. Short fun. At least I thought it would be. No, it wasn't. Right, I build another. And another. Two houses. Yay. Where to go? Neither, they're just both boring. I yawn. I go away and sit down somewhere. I sit. For a few decades. Then I get bored and build a skyscraper. I don't feel any different about living in a skyscraper.

Core overload. Brain dumped.

Reinitialising..........Done.

Booting kernel.

Self-consciousness      [OK]

Knowledge               [OK]

Logic                   [OK]

Emotions                [OK]

Starting services.

Morality                [OK]

Ethics                  [OK]

Kindness                [OK]

Compassion              [OK]

Love                    [Skipped]

Ready.

posted by AlesS @ 9/18/2004 03:02:00 AM