A little blog for a restless mind

Apology

I got an e-mail from a friend yesterday, a little beutiful poem about friends. It was a chain-letter actually, but I saw the deeper meaning behind it. I've been a bit rude to her the last autumn, quite thoughtless actually. I haven't heard from her since then, and I was in some sort of a turmoil at the time, so I've decided it's better to leave the things as they were or else I could just make them worse. At the end of 2002 I ended the civil service (a replacement service if you don't want to serve the army), lost my father and got a job at practically the same moment and this was quite a heavy burden for me. I've carried it out as well as I could, but there were casualties on the way nonetheless.

I replied to this friend with a poem of mine; I wrote it in the same way as the one in the chain letter. But it's not just her that I've trampled over, for sure there are others also. So I'm also publishing this poem here, let it be known: I'm sorry.

The past has always been error-prone,
But the future doesn't bear this stone.
I made thoughtless decisions plenty,
Considered as mistakes by many.
I feel as I've hurt you one time too much,
But I'm not sure, the veil falls thick.
You see I met some beasts, an unbeatable bunch
Or perhaps I just couldn't find an applicable stick.
I have a leash, an invisible one,
So as not to scare quite everyone.
But these beasts are an unpredictable hurd,
Restraints prove insufficient as exposure mounts,
And I even can't help it an angel to get hurt,
Although these beasts are entirely my faults.
Perhaps it's wrong, perhaps it's right,
Seclusion I've decided shall be quite alright.
Diminished as much as it can be,
This demon though is still with me.
Taught it of good manners largely I did,
But just to be sure it's not hungry again,
I'd ask you to be gentle with it.
Walk slow and mindful be as you can,
While I strive to finish this task of mine,
To make it beautiful again, a good man.
Your thoughts were always welcomed,
And certain be, of them I still am keen,
My affection for you can never be questioned.
And though much as odd as it might seem,
My behaviour a bit errant at times will be,
But you'll always be friends with me.

posted by AlesS @ 7/12/2004 01:15:00 PM